I've Got A Feeling!

One of the most rewarding, yet incredibly humbling aspects of medicine is the perpetual learning curve. People 'in the biz' refer to it as being a lifelong learner. Not just individually, but globally, if we stopped learning or assimilating new information, we, in a sense, would stop evolving (or maturing for those who fear the word evolve). It is humbling to know that I will never know all there is to know within Internal Medicine. At the same time, however, for me, that is also what keeps medicine refreshing and challenging.

I recently stepped back into a 'basic science' laboratory in part to fulfill a residency requirement, but also to journey into a land that I am removed from in clinical medicine. This has been a challenge in another way. As I said previously, I enjoy learning new things each day, but being in the lab for me is less about daily learning and more of feeling completely aloof. I haven't done this sort of work since my early college years (8 years ago at least). Pipetting, dilutions, plating, etc; all basic lab techniques yet now completely foreign to me. To say it is humbling doesn't describe my emotions. It is actually frustrating to think that I spent four years getting a M.D., feel somewhat competent treating patients, and yet when placed in the lab its like I am a freshman in college. Have I learned nothing?! What have I been doing with my life?!

Let me reiterate the dichotomy I'm trying to draw, I enjoy the challenges the medical field brings each day, but I really do not enjoy feeling like a complete idiot! Yet invariably, at every turn of medicine, I do. I did as a first year medical student. I did as a third year medical student. I did as a brand new intern. Now I do again as I foray into the lab.

Will it ever end?