I'm in the hospital at the moment, fearing every page I get is another admission waiting in the ED. In the meantime, I sit in the housestaff lounge watching the Kentucky Derby on the brand new 61" DLP TV we have and remembered a funny patient story.
I don't remember all the details, but the short version goes like this. On a previous call day, I was admitting a particularly contentious and unruly alcoholic for what we thought was acute alcoholic hepatitis. Being the thorough 'tern I am in seeing that his hemoglobin was low, I prepared to do a rectal exam (yes, yes... GH; funny I know). I go into the room, where the patient sits with his daughter, explain everything that is going on and subsequently that I need to do a quick rectal exam to determine if he is bleeding. What happens next even I can't make up.
Patient: you gotta do what?
Me: a rectal exam. It's just a quick procedure to make sure your not bleeding from your bottom.
Patient: HELL NO! My daughter may take it up the ass, but not me!
Needless to say, I couldn't hold back the laughter. Its the only time this year I've laughed in front of a patient (I usually just laugh at them behind their back). Glorious times.
oh my goodness! with his daughter sitting right there?! that's hilarious!
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