I just finished watching the second National Treasure movie, coyly named Book of Secrets. I don't know if I can I adequately express how uninspiring it is (of course I will try though). Obviously the first question one should ask, "Why even see the movie given the first was so bland?" Great point. However, I respond by noting that the first was partially filmed in Philly and Philly rocks. Truthfully though, I have a soft spot for movies that afford me the opportunity to turn off my brain and just be entertained. I say this with a caveat, that the movie doesn't irritate me with its shear stupidity first. So with that expectation I watched Book of Secrets - and was still disappointed!
First, don't treat me (the moviegoer) like a 5-year old child. Both movies present themselves as 'puzzles,' which is almost laughable. I understand the average U.S. citizen reads below a 9th grade level, but that is no reason to create a movie where the actors proclaim truths that are insanely obvious to anyone with a brain. For instance when 4 of the main characters are trapped underground on what amounts to a large seesaw. Nic Cage exclaims, "We need to balance ourselves like counterweights!" No flippin kidding... you don't say. What gave you that impression? Possibly when you almost fell off because it was tipping?! I realize saying big words like 'counterweight' makes a sentence sound intelligent, but still no excuse. How about when 'Abigail Chase' shouts, "The water makes the rocks darker!" Holy crap, she should win the Nobel Prize for that one! Another example? When Jon Voight miraculously remembers his grandfathers dying words, "the debt that all men pay," when they were trying to solve the cypher. So all the years before, when he undoubtedly repeated this story ad nauseam, he simply forgot to share this crucial bit of information? Riiiight.
Secondly, get a better villain. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Ed Harris and it doesn't get any better than Francis X. Hummel reciting Thomas Jefferson, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots!". It gets me every time. But, in this case, to have a villain whose sole motivation for masterminding a world-wide search for treasure be his slighted family name is frankly stupid. If his family is so bad off where'd he get all his money to travel the world? Heck, the dude trashed his Range Rover, doesn't seem like the Wilkinson's are doing that bad to me.
Thirdly, the 'don't kill my baby' bull expressed by movie-mothers time and again is played out. Seriously. We are led to believe the main characters mother has no contact with her son whatsoever, yet somehow she is brought to debilitating tears over his safety?! If you cared that much, why didn't you pick up a phone? I'm tired of women being portrayed in such a stupid emotional state. Not because it's sexist, but because its so flippin annoying!
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