I recently watched The Karate Kid, Part 1, for the first time in easily 15 years. If you asked, "Why Mark did you watch THAT movie?," I truthfully would have no acceptable response. I do, however, have many conjectures. Maybe I was feeling a tad 80's that night, maybe I thought Rocky was too barbaric of a comeback story, or maybe, just maybe, I needed to brush up on my sweet ninja skills... whatever it was, I partook and here are a few thoughts:
1. Daniel-son has an attitude problem.
Who in their right mind moves to a new state and proceeds to a) act like a flippin karate master after two YMCA classes and a How-To Guide b) pick fights with dudes older and at least 100lbs heavier (for goodness sakes they had totally rad dirt bikes compared to his I-couldn't-afford-a-real-BMX-bike, bike) and finally c) proceed to hit on the most attractive girl in the school. I looked up to this kid the first time I watched the movie, but now all I can think is how much I WANT him to get his butt beat... I'm actually rooting for the Cobra Kai!
2. Daniel-son is more of a dweeb than I remember.
I vaguely remember watching KK, Pt1 back in the day, but I don't remember Daniel-son being such a loser. His legs remind me of a giraffe and I'm pretty sure a watermelon weighs more than he does.
3. The 'Crane Kick' is pathetic.
The Crane Kick was the move to end all moves after this movie debuted. Mr. Miyagi even said, "There is no defense," when speaking of the move in the movie. The mere preparatory fanning of one's arms to perform said move would send chills up every middle-school bully's spine. But c'mon, lets be honest about the utility of the Crane Kick... you're standing on one foot for goodness sakes!!! Hmmm, lets see... how about I NOT run right at you and instead take 3 steps to the right and tiger-claw your skinny butt!
4. You are lead to believe wearing 'karate' bandannas at all times is not only commonplace, but a requirement to be cool.
To quote another movie, "You ain't cool, until you...." The shear amount of screen time that both Daniel-son and Johnny (the bad dude) wear their respective bandannas is ludicrous. Honestly, who wears it to school? You would be laughed out of first-period history. Side by side though, Daniel-son wins the bandanna war easily. C'mon Johnny, if you're going to wear it all the time at least get one that doesn't look like a piece of twine.... maybe a skull or something equally as awesome.
5. The role of John Kreese (the Cobras evil sensei) was originally offered to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris turned down the role because he didn't want his sweet ninja skills portrayed in a negative light. How about punching a guy already caught in a bear trap... how do you explain that Norris?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DImbCzcSif4